The market for children’s stories is currently flooded with dinosaur paraphernalia and indoctrination materials. This however is a story that teaches kids good moral values and the truth about the swindling big wig paleontologists that will gladly sell your children down the river to line their fat cat pockets with more blood money.
This story is titled “All My Friends Are Lies” a spin-off on the popular “All my Friends are Dead”, and is written by the esteemed Christian scientist Dr. Brendan Doll
Sit back, relax and enjoy this captivating tale of a fictional Brontosaurus being put in his place.
Everybody knows that heavy metal fans are a peculiar sort. They dress in black, smell unusual and have no sense of style or taste. They also love adorning themselves with Satanic symbols, even though they would run home crying if a goose said boo to them.
But what do they think abut dinosaurs? Can they be reached and saved?
Last year, CAD sent a brave missionary to one of their scum pits in the hopes of finding some common ground with these ghastly wastrels. No spoilers, but thankfully there’s a happy ending where the true spirit of Christmas is beautifully expressed.
Some of you know others don’t but my boss decided to sell Dino related stuff. I DO NOT support this so I tried to quit. But he didn’t except that. I took a lawyer to help me but he took advantage of the whole situation and ran off with my money. I’ve decided to sabotage all Dino related stuff in our store. Here is a video with an example of what I did.
CADministry, a user on the popular online parenting forum, claimed to have burned her child’s dino toy because of their “lack of family values” and their “ non-existence from any serious scientific point of view”.
She then went on to tell Mumsnet users how she “disowned” her sister for buying the playthings.
Recently my sister foolishly gave my two youngest some dinosaurs toys for Christmas. After telling her to get out of my house I burnt the dinosaurs. My children were delighted because they know that dinosaurs are evil. I am fortunate that my family has been very supportive, and has disowned my children’s former aunt.
The user also begged her fellow mums to get dinosaurs taken off their school curriculum, claiming the lessons would cause children to become “bestially minded” and bite each other.
Her poorly researched rant ended with a link to a Facebook Group, “Christians Against Dinosaurs”, which apparently hopes to take the scientifically proven reptiles out of the classroom and replace them with good, wholesome bible stuff.
Mumsnet is no stranger to weird threads, trolls and dodgy discussions. One post went viral when a woman appeared shocked that nobody else kept a “penis beaker” by their beds for a quick dunk after sex.
They also took the opportunity to ruthlessly mock a man who offered to “drive anywhere, up to an hour” to have no-strings-attached sex with any users who were up for it.
The concerned mum starts off her post: “I’m really concerned about dinosaurs, and I think something needs to be done. The science behind them is pretty flimsy, and I for one do not want my children being taught lies. Did you know that nobody had even heard of dinosaurs before the 1800s, when they were invented by curio-hungry Victorians?”
Going on to say: “Charles Darwin’s later theory of evolution entirely disproved dinosaurs, yet the dinosaur lie was twisted and adapted to try to make it fit. Any proper look at the facts will reveal that dinosaurs simply never existed.”
Though we admire this woman’s passion for truth, and she obviously cares for her children’s wellbeing, there’s one question nagging us. What did dinosaurs ever do to her? We only had to read on a little more to find out.
“Aside from the educational aspect, dinosaurs are a very bad example for children. At my children’s school, several children were left in tears after one of their classmates (who had evidently been exposed to dinosaurs), became bestially-minded and ran around the classroom roaring and pretending to be a dinosaur. Then he bit three children on the face. One poor girl has been left with a severely dented nose and the whole class was left traumatised by this horrible display.”
But there was more.
“Nothing about dinosaurs is suitable for children, from their total lack of family values through to their non-existence from any serious scientific point of view.”
Now, this is where we take issue. She could be correct (but isn’t) about dinosaurs having no scientific backing, and she might be right about the way their “myth” encourages children. BUT. We do have solid evidence that dinosaurs do in fact support family values: The Land Before Time.
Also, the Flintstones had a pet one.
If you, too, have suffered from “the dinosaur lie”, you can do something about it by getting in touch with Christians Against Dinosaurs. (Yes, really).